Music means sooo much to me. There are so many songs that I’ve attached to so many times or events in my life. These songs aren’t always what was “popular” at those times in my life; they are just songs that very vividly remind me of my life.
I don’t post much on this blog anymore because of the pregnancy blog. It seems that my life has been consumed by pregnancy…and understandably so! It is really a lifechanging event. Pregnancy has sort of forced me to think of other times in my life…almost as if my life is flashing before my eyes. I can’t decide if I like this or not. I do love to reminisce, but it’s a little scary at times. And in this reminiscing, almost every memory has a song attached to it.
I’ve decided that I will post, once a week, a song and the lyrics that have special meaning to me. They will be in no certain order…except for the first one. Please feel free to comment or let me know if these songs hold any special meaning for you.
I was once asked what the theme song of my life would be if I had to pick just one. After much deliberation, I made my final decision…
All I Really Want by Alanis Morissette
Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don’t want to dissect everything today
I don’t mean to pick you apart you see
But I can’t help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn’t there already
If only I could hunt the hunter
And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I’m so relentless and all strung out
I’m consumed by the chill of solitary
I’m like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I’m frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker
And I am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn’t give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn’t give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let’s talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let’s talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around…all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you’re gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need know is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer
All I really want is some peace man
a place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice…
Is it ironic that my theme song is by a very intense and sometimes angry female? Maybe…but those who know me know that this really describes my personality. I (almost unconsciously) look down on humanity…not necessarily thinking that I am better than others, just that we could do better as a whole. I may or may not have a superiority complex when it comes to certain things. In general, I don’t like people. But I know that healthy human relationships are so very important if not only for the learning experience. I look for deeper meaning in EVERYTHING that is. A cigar is never just a cigar. And I really just can’t help it…or I don’t want to help it. BUT…underneath all of this, I have hope and faith that things will be okay…eventually.
