What a lame NaBloPoMo post that was yesterday!! I’m hoping to make up for it today…remember that post from October 26th called “LOTS of traffic in my sky…” where the one flight had been upgraded? That flight has landed here…
I want to talk about sacrifice. The Merriam-Webster definition is as follows:
1: an act of offering to a deity something precious; especially : the killing of a victim on an altar
2: something offered in sacrifice
3 a: destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else b: something given up or lost <the sacrifices made by parents>
4: loss <goods sold at a sacrifice>
Okay, so I’m obviously not talking about #1. I’m not going to kill someone in the name of any deity EVER. Not gonna happen. In my opinion, #2 is what is essentially wrong with the dictionary. I was taught at a young age that I may NOT use the word I am defining in the definition of said word…that being said, I know what they’re going for. I think we’re getting closer with #3. That one seems to resonate in my brain. I don’t have anything to sell for less than I bought it, so #4 is out. And I don’t play baseball, so I won’t be doing any of #5. Nope, no sac-flies for me (even though I’d do it so Mike Lowell could score a run 
).
Now I’m stuck with #3…namely part a: the destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else. That’s the one that bothers me the most. I saw my friends Aaron and Heidi this weekend and we all had a nice talk about sacrifice…about how one should make the right sacrifices. In my mind, I’m making a sacrifice by not going back to school to get a different, maybe even better, job. When I initially went to college, I had NO idea that I’d end up working where I do. I took the job because, in my mind, I’m good at it, it offered the right money at the time, I have good insurance, it’s only about 15 minutes from home and the hours are good. I’m off work early enough to enjoy part of the afternoon and I don’t have to work weekends. I am making the sacrifice to make the financial future of my family better. I am not putting myself into more debt by spending money on going to school. When I have a child, all of these things will be important. Or will they?
I am not 100% miserable at my job, but I am not 100% happy at my job. Will I ever be 100% happy at any job? Probably not. But I’m assuming that it could be better. I don’t stay busy here. I oftentimes feel superfluous…like I’m just an extra body. My mind isn’t challenged. And I don’t see my job getting taken anymore seriously in the future than it does now (which is not at ALL). And I won’t even get into dealing with some of the people I work with. That’s the most difficult part.
I work with many of my family members and I am beginning to see the strain on some of those VERY IMPORTANT relationships. And it bugs me. It upsets me. It upsets me that I sometimes don’t want to be near my family members outside of work because of something that happened at work. I knew when I was hired that I’d be working with these people. And I didn’t expect any favoritism. I don’t want the favoritism. It makes me feel like I’m taking something I haven’t earned…and for me that is a very bad thing. I may get a little favoritism, but sometimes I feel like I’m taken advantage of because I’m family. Not often, but it has happened a few times.
It’s getting more and more difficult for me to separate work and home. The last thing I want is for my familial relationships to suffer because of work. I’ve seen it happen WAY too many times and I want NO part of it. I want to see my family at Thanksgiving and Christmas and be happy to see them and talk to them about life and happiness and stuff. NOT carpet and stupid bosses and stuff.
Am I making the right sacrifice by staying? If I don’t stay, I will probably lose my good insurance and probably my good hours. I’d probably have to drive further and do more work. Those are all probably. If I don’t stay, I will definitely love to see my family outside of work. I will definitely not talk to them about carpet. I will definitely ask husband how his day went and he’ll tell me and I definitely won’t already know! Those are all definitely. And they are SO much more worth it than probably. If I have to, I will sacrifice all of the perks of my job for the sake of my familial relationships (and isn’t that the Merriam-Webster definition of sacrifice?). I love my family…all of the crazy nuts…and I don’t want the relationships to suffer. I think THIS is the right sacrifice.
Most often the best decision is the most difficult one…and I’m facing that head-on (apply directly to the forehead-sorry, humor is how I deal) right now. I think I already know what I have to do, but I’d like insight, common situations, etc. from you all (from one of you in particular). And nothing is decided yet. I’m not jumping ship tomorrow or anything. This is just something I’ve been thinking about for a long time now. It was due to come off of my shoulders.
What have you all sacrificed? Did those sacrifices backfire? Are you still happy even after the sacrifice? I’d love comments…
