This is the end, beautiful friend.

The last day of NaBloPoMo is upon us…and all I can say is I’m sorta gonna miss it.  Yes, I did my share of bitching about it, but I got through it and I got used to writing everyday.  I will probably not continue daily entries, but I will still be a frequent blogger. 

It’s friday!  I have a full weekend of painting ahead of me.  We are finally getting around to painting our living room…and maybe the hallway, kitchen and dining room.  That, my friend, would be awesome.  Then we would only have a half bath and two small bedrooms to paint before we move.  Yes, I’m thinking ahead.  We won’t be moving for probably 2 years, but I’m sure as HELL not painting again before that.  The new people can do that if they want.

I’ve begun to get a handle on my insanity over Christmas shopping.  I went to qvc.com and looked through the holiday gift ideas and it actually helped me a little.  I have an idea for a gift…a photo frame that stores digital pictures and automatically changes the picture every 1 minute, 5 minutes, etc.  Is that something that anyone of you would like?  I think that’s going to be for Chris’ brother’s wife…who I don’t know what to buy for.  I saw a picture of their house once and they have a ledge around their whole family room with about a bajillion pictures on it.  This way she can display 20 or so pictures in one frame.  I am happy to have thought of this as she was one of two that had me stumped.

I hope all of you have an outstanding weekend and I will leave you with this joke:

The police took two boys into custody yesterday.  One was eating fireworks and the other was drinking battery acid.  They let one off and charged the other.

HAHAHA!! Toodles, all!

It’s the thought that counts…

Oh geez!!  It’s that time again…you know, the time to agonize over what to buy people for Christmas.  What happened to, “It’s the thought that counts?”  It sure doesn’t seem to be the thought of the gift that is the most important…not even to me.

I’ve received some pretty interesting gifts in the past few years.  And by interesting I mean stupid, ugly, not me at all, and stupid (oh, i already said that).  I admit that the few gifts that I’ve received that totally baffled me DID make me think “It’s the thought that counts.”  Translation:  what does this person think of me??  He/she must REALLY hate me!!

What does that mean, anyway?  “It’s the thought that counts.”  I know what it’s supposed to mean…even if the gift is less than desirable, atleast the person thought enough about you to even give you a gift.  But think about it.  If it IS the thought that counts, what are you thinking when you buy a gift?  The gifts are a direct reflection of your thoughts of the recipient…so watch what you buy.

Two years ago, husband and I bought a really cool toolbox/stepstool/storage thingy for someone for Christmas.  Husband’s birthday is on New Year’s Eve.  This person turned around and regifted the toolbox/stepstool/storage thingy to husband just 6 DAYS LATER for his birthday!!  My interpretation of regifting is to give a gift you do not like/will not use to someone else…and here’s the kicker…WHO DIDN’T BUY IT FOR YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!!  Interesting.  So, said person opened the present and thought, “I will not use this…but I know who could!”  And we do use it.  But, damn, be grateful that we even TRIED to buy you a gift, even though we pretty much know you won’t like it.

“It’s the thought that counts.”  Hmmm.  I feel like buying everyone crappy gifts and writing on the card, “It’s the thought that counts.”  Easy way out…but they will all think I HATE them because the gifts are a direct reflection of my thoughts of them.  Do you see where I’m going with this?  People only say, “It’s the thought that counts” when the gift is crappy  less than desirable when it should be the other way around.

But what do you buy for someone who seriously has everything?  I had someone tell me what to buy her for Christmas this year and 3 days later she went and bought it.  Now what am I supposed to buy?  Husband has family that lives across the country.  I don’t know what they want or need.  I don’t know anything about their house decor, what movies/music they like, what sort of clothes they’d wear on a regular basis…I know nothing.  I have to buy a gift for someone who can’t see or hear very well and has limited space to store superfluous stuff.  And I have to buy a gift for a 5-year-old who changes his mind about toys every 4.7209 minutes.  I’m so confused.

I’m already tired of shopping and gift giving and I haven’t even done ANY OF EITHER!!  Why does this have to be so difficult?  Christmas is supposed to be fun and cheerful and stuff.  And it’s just one big hassle when it comes to pleasing everyone.  YOU’RE ALL GETTING SOCKS!!  Everyone wears socks, right?

So, faithful readers, how do you buy gifts for people who have everything?  For people you don’t know well?  For anyone, really?  Any help would be GREATLY appreciated…from ONE of you in particular.  You know who you are.

The Letter D

I got this in an email and thought it would be good blog fodder.  Here goes:
It’s harder than it looks!  RULES: *Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following … they have to be real places, names, things … nothing made up!  *Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial.  You CAN’T use your name for the boy/girl name question. Send it to your friends to drive them batty, too!  This is fun if you need a little break!

What is your name?  Danielle

4 letter word:   Damn
   
Vehicle:    Diablo (Lamborghini)

Show:    Different Strokes

City:   Denver

Boy Name:  Drake

Girl Name:   Dharma

Drink:  Daiquiri               

Occupation:  Dog-sitter

Something you wear:  Dress

Celebrity:    Dave Navarro

Food:  Donut                  

Something found in a bathroom:  Deodorant

Something You Shout:  Dammit, Oliver!

Out Drinkin’

Pat Dailey cracks me up…especially with this song.

Happy Wednesday, everyone!!

Toothbrush Poltergeist

I brush my teeth with a rechargable Oral B toothbrush.  It’s bright green.  It makes me have to do just a little less work.  It has a timer that makes it automatically turn off when I’ve brushed my teeth for the correct amount of time.  I love it.  And today it became haunted…or something.

I brushed my teeth, set my toothbrush on the counter and proceeded to put on make-up.  As I was putting mascara onto my right eye, I hear “BZZ…BZZ…..BUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ”…and I almost poked out my own eye.  It scared the shit out of me.  I had no idea where the noise was coming from…until I looked at my toothbrush and it was on it’s way to vibrating right off the counter and into the trashcan.

I picked it up and tried to turn it off and it wouldn’t turn off.  I banged it on the counter a few times and it buzzed intermittently instead of constantly, but it still wouldn’t turn off.  Husband came in and took it from me and banged it onto the counter and his hand…to which I replied, “STOP!! You’re going to break it!”  His response?  “It’s already broken, moron!” 

I finally got it to turn off.  Husband said to put it somewhere where it wouldn’t fall into the trashcan if it turned on again.  So I put it in the medicine cabinet (where it actually goes).  I resume applying the mascara to my LEFT eye now and I hear “BZZ…BZZ…BZZ..BBBBUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ” come from the medicine cabinet.  I did not almost poke out my left eye, as I was expecting that buzz. 

After getting it to turn off again, I decided that I simply could NOT leave this haunted toothbrush at home.  It would drive my dogs BONKERS!  They would’ve stood at the bathroom door and barked all day until the damn thing died!  The only other option was to take it to work with me.  I didn’t want to forget it, so I carried it around the house for the next 10 minutes while I put on my socks and shoes, put on earrings and glasses and made my breakfast.  The entire time I carried it around, it would buzz every now and then.  I then sealed it up in a ziploc bag. 

It buzzed on and off my whole way to work.  I would bang it on something and it would stop for a few minutes and then start again.  I left it in the car at work (what…take it in and look like a lunatic?  No way!!  I look like a lunatic anyway…without the haunted toothbrush).  I went out to the car at lunchtime and the stupid thing had vibrated itself all the way out of the seat and into the floor!!! 

I bought a new toothbrush after work…and I’m not happy about it.  I loved my green toothbrush, even if it did have a poltergeist.  The new one is really cool and all, but it’s not green.  But it probably isn’t haunted.

Most awkward. Moment. Ever.

I’m back!!  I had a few days of short and meaningless entries…the futility of NaBloPoMo.  I won’t lie, I’ll be glad when this damn thing is over.  Which is in 5 days.  And I’ve kept up so far.  I’m not sure how, but I’ve done it.  And, surprisingly, I’m not that proud.  Probably because it doesn’t really mean anything.

But I digress.  By the title, you are probably wondering why I’m rambling on about NaBloPoMo.  It definitely isn’t my “Most awkward. Moment. Ever.”  But THIS is…

Last Tuesday, my grandmother showed up at my work.  A little background, you ask?  Sure, why not. 

**Background:I haven’t spoken to, seen or contacted in any way, my grandmother in over 5 years.  And I’m sure that some of you now think that I’m a terrible person.  And I may be, but not for this.  This grandmother is my dad’s mother.  You know, my dad that did not come to my wedding.  I did not invite my dad’s wife to our wedding.  She hates me and put my mother and I through alot at one point.  She had no business being invited to what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.  Don’t get me wrong…it was still the happiest day of my life.  Just minus a few people who I thought would look past the things that were none of their damn business to be a part of said happiest day of my life.  But they didn’t.  And I’ve held it against them.

My grandmother doesn’t know anything about what went on between my dad and his wife and my mom and I…except what my dad’s wife has told her.  Which I’m sure isn’t the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, yada, yada, yada.  It may be a part of the truth or a version of the truth, but not the whole truth.  If it were the whole truth, my grandmother would’ve come to my wedding.

I didn’t ever tell my grandmother my side of the story.  I didn’t tell her because I thought that it wasn’t her business.  All of the mediation, arguing, etc., I thought all of that should’ve been kept between the involved parties.  And granny wasn’t one of them.  She assumed that I didn’t invite the wife simply to be mean.  I didn’t do that.  I didn’t invite her because I didn’t want someone who hates me to witness me getting married.  Do any of you readers invite people who hate you to very special occasions?  Yeah, I didn’t think so.

I got a letter from my grandmother about a year after we got married telling me that she was “sorry for not coming”…and I was once told that you should NEVER ruin an apology with an excuse…”but you should’ve invited your dad’s wife.  He deserves to be happy too.”  Yes, he does.  We all deserve alot of things.  I thought that I deserved my 2 measley years in college that he was supposed to pay for because I worked my ass off in high school.  But I didn’t get that, did I?  So, screw what we all “deserve.”  That’s all relative anyway.

This isn’t about what I deserve or what he deserves or whatever.  It’s about me being told what I should’ve done on a day that was supposed to be solely about two people…my husband and me.  Period.  I don’t ask these people for much.  I don’t ever ask for money or help or anything.  All I asked was that they come witness the happy day.  And they couldn’t even do that.  All because I somehow infringed upon my dad’s happiness.  ON MY WEDDING DAY.  Background finished.**

So, grandmother showed up to deliver birthday presents for my nephew…my brother works here too.  I know, messed up.  She walked in the door and just acted like nothing ever happened.  She tried to talk to me.  When I didn’t talk back, she got a little flustered.  She didn’t know what to do.  At this point, I don’t really have anything to say to her that she will appreciate.  I was at work.  I don’t appreciate being cornered at work.

She tried to hug me at one point and I denied her.  I’m upset with her.  There are things that need to be addressed…and NOT WHILE I’M AT WORK!!  How in the hell can she act like nothing ever happened?  And yes, she knows exactly why I’m upset with her.  In the letter that I wrote back to her 4 years ago, it was explained.  No response.  It really was the most awkward thing I’ve ever dealt with.  Even more awkward than when I saw my dad for the first time in 3 years.

Anyone have any advice, similar stories, etc.?  How do you all deal with things like this?  I know I need to let go if it, but how?  I really feel like I’ve been wronged here.  Anyone?

Intentions?

I had the best of intentions when I awoke this morning.  I had things to do.  I had a list.  And lying around watching Project Runway, The Real Housewives of Orange County and The Big Lebowski was not on the list.  But that is all I did.

I’m tired and the cold is kicking my ass.  I can’t sleep at night, yet I think that I’m somehow getting too much sleep.  How’s that for confusing? 

I guess I’ll eat dinner, shower and watch TV some more.  The Dude abides.

Don’t feel like writing…

so I’m giving you a few pics from the pumpkin patch…from OCTOBER!!

Got a little Captain in you?

Tony’s new best friend…

And I’m still not sure what the hell that look is…

The Shortest Thanksgiving EVER

After much deliberation and 2 Thanksgivings in our house, we’ve decided that it’s just too small for 12 people and 3 dogs.  Just too small.  Next year we’ll have to do something different.  It was about 90 degrees in the house (with the patio door open a little) the whole time people were here and we don’t have enough places to sit in the living room.  People got here at about 2pm and were gone by 6:30pm or so.  The shortest Thanksgiving EVER.

We had a good meal and I don’t think anyone was upset about there not being enough seats or it being slightly warm in the house…it just seemed a little uncomfortable.  Tight.  Cramped.  Stuffy.  Just too effin’ small.

Hey…atleast we got a four day weekend.

Totally Chill

In less than 4 hours, I will have 9 extra adults, 1 five year old and an extra dog at my house…making the total 11 adults, one kid and 3 dogs.  In a 1000 square feet house.  With a dining room that comfortably sits 6.  Oh dear, right?

Wrong!!  I don’t even care.  I don’t care if people complain.  I don’t care if the food is bad or if there isn’t enough.  I don’t care if my house isn’t clean enough.  I don’t care if my dogs get on people’s nerves.  I don’t care if the 5-year-old doesn’t wash his hands.  Not today.

I spent alot of time this morning doing things slowly…just chillin’.  Yes, I did do some cleaning.  Some minor cleaning.  I made sure the dinner dishes were clean and the table cloths and placemats were clean.  I made sure there isn’t dog hair everywhere or mud all over the kitchen floor from my swamp backyard.  I made sure the toilets were clean and there are clean hand towels and soap in both bathrooms.

I didn’t take all the pictures and knick-knacks off the entertainment center and dust them and the shelves.  I didn’t wash the bathroom rugs.  I didn’t do all the laundry.  I didn’t paint the living room and the bathroom where there is still bare drywall.  We bought a veggie tray for before dinner.  I opened it and it smelled like rotten eggs.  I did not take it back to the store and bitch and complain and make someone else’s day bad.  I did not send husband out to get another one.  I just chucked it in the trash.  No veggies for us.  Who cares?  I didn’t.  It’s just veggies and I’m over it.

Today isn’t supposed to be about rushing around to make sure my house is immaculate so that I won’t feel bad that so many people will see dust on the shelves.  It isn’t supposed to be about worrying that the food is bad or not enough.  It isn’t supposed to be about complaints and arguments and bad moods. 

It is supposed to be about being together.  About having a good time in the company of the people you love.  About the gathering.  About giving thanks for what we have.  About appreciation for the everyday things.  About stopping and realizing that the world won’t end if everything doesn’t go as planned.

Last year I did rush around and clean from top to bottom and worry about the food, etc.  And I had a TERRIBLE time.  I ended up with a horrible headache after dinner.  I was probably not very nice to people.  I didn’t take hardly any pictures.  I don’t exactly remember.  This year I want to remember…and I want to remember having a good time.  I want to remember that I reflected on what means the most to me on this day of giving thanks.  What do you want to remember?