…and absolutely NO desire to blog. So…um…I woke up this morning feeling GREAT! Now I’m tired as hell and could probably go to bed now and sleep until tomorrow morning. If I’m this tired now, how tired will I be when there is a screaming baby in my house?
I continue to have deep, strong feelings of anxiety. I am sooo incredibly worried that something terrible is going to happen. What? Who knows. Why? Who knows. I think this anxiety is the key to my unexcitedness (if that’s even a freakin’ word). We went to BabiesR’Us last night and wandered around. Everything is so damn expensive! Seriously, who needs a $600.00 crib? Anyhoozy, that trip got me a little excited, especially looking at all those teeny clothes.
I bought a book last night…What To Expect When You’re Expecting. I hear from others that it is a nice reference to have when I have questions that aren’t urgent enough to call or see a doctor…you know, the easy stuff that I should already know.
I am still very uncomfortable with the whole being pregnant thing. Someone called me “preggo” a few days ago and I was very close to ending him. Yes, ending. Not hurting or something…ending. That is how uncomfortable it is at this time. I’ve learned that there are a select few people that I’ve talked to who have made me feel better. And, unfortunately, a couple live atleast an hour away and the other I wrote a not-so-friendly blog entry about approx. a week ago.
I am feeling very overwhelmed. So much so that I think I’ve subconsciously blocked out nearly EVERYTHING positive about what is happening to me. I don’t want to be so excited just in case something horrible happens…so I won’t be disappointed. I am a “just in case” kind of person. I feel that I’m (atleast physically) prepared for almost anything…except for maybe the apocalypse. I’m going to have to work on the mental preparedness. I am extremely lacking in that area.
So, how do you mentally prepare yourself for a life-changing event? I guess that is really rhetorical. I’ll figure it all out, I’m sure. Eventually.
Peanut butter egg dirt…now I’m just babbling.
