Old Friends & New Worries

So, I met my old friend Michelle and her new baby (about 9 months old) Sam yesterday at Starbucks.  Yeah, a few things about that…

The comforting thing is that Michelle is just as sweet and down-to-earth as she always was.  Her baby is so very cute and smiley (is that a word?) and flirty.  What a cutie!  We chatted for about an hour and found out that our lives aren’t that far apart.  I’m actually HAPPY that I joined MySpace!!

AND…I went to Starbucks!  What?  Me, in Starbucks?  No, the place did NOT burn down or anything.  But I just drank water and ate a cookie.  So, now I’ve joined MySpace, started a blog, used EBay, and gone to Starbucks.  Now, where are those Crocs?

My pregnancy worries have compounded.  Now am I not only TERRIFIED that something will go wrong, but I now worry about things like, “What if I’m cutting baby’s fingernails and I cut off it’s finger?”  “What if I put the diaper on backwards?”  “What if I leave baby at the grocery in the shopping cart?”  And I know, these things are RIDICULOUS, but still, I think of them.  I would NEVER cut off a baby’s finger…and it’s rather difficult to put a diaper on backwards.  And I’m very cautious at the grocery store.  Ya just gotta be careful at the supermarket.  You never know what could happen.  It’s a scary place.

Five Short Weeks

For any of you keeping up with the pregnancy…here I am!!  Short and chunky at just 5 weeks pregnant.

Atleast I still have my sense of humor…

 Feelings at 5 Tender Weeks:

*  I’m not really pregnant.  (denial)

*  I can’t do this.  (fear)

*  This is going to take FOREVER! (impatience)

*  I’m already fat and I don’t want to be fatter.  (leaning toward self-loathing)

*  People say this is ALL worth it.  (faith)

*  At five weeks, a baby is the size of a sesame seed and it will weigh about 6 lbs. at birth.  What a freakin’ miracle!!  (excitement)

So there you have it…all of my feelings at 5 weeks.  I guess I’m in this for the long-haul.

ScrapHappy III

I haven’t blogged scrappin’ lately, so here ya go… 

 2 Chilly Dogs - LOVE this one!  I just love how it turned out.  The cluster title worked and everything just seemed to go together so easily.

 

Monkey Business - This was for a trade-a-picture challenge.  I had to do this layout with this picture that I didn’t take and don’t know jack about.  But it was fun and turned out okay. 

The Original “I Feel Pretty” Tree - Did a layout about 2 years ago of husband using this tree as his hair (you can see it in the ScrapJazz Gallery link to the right).  Now every year when we go to this garden, atleast one of us has to use the tree as our hair.

      

 The Beer Prayer - Hey, I’m a pregnant beer drinker!  No, I don’t mean I’m drinking beer WHILE I’m pregnant…just that I do think about beer from time to time.  This is a really simple one, but I love how it came out and I love the poem.  Oh yeah, this was for a challenge-use a poem on a page.

          

I’ve also had time to make a couple of framed pieces for friends and family…

You & Me - I sure do wish this picture was better…this layout is AWESOME, if I do say so myself!!  I love it and I think I’m going to make myself one like it.  Hope E & L like it…after they add their pic!

From the Heart - Now, this is really a doozy.  The greeting card on this one was given to my mother-in-law by my father-in-law on… ya ready? CHRISTMAS DAY 2006!!!  Yes, it took me THIS LONG to make it!!!  I actually REALLY like it, too!!

 So, that’s ScrapHappy for today.  Enjoy!!

7 years is a long time…

A long 7 years ago, one of husband’s very good friends moved to Colorado.  This was a guy he saw atleast once a week for 3 years.  And he just moved away.  Just like that.  Anyhoover, I found his brother on MySpace and contacted him and etc., etc….and through alot of ins and outs and what-have-yous, we all hooked back up this weekend.  This guy, A, and his wife, H, now have a 17 month-old baby!  This is craziness.  Seriously.  Craziness. 

Now, I was not a big H fan when they lived in Bloomington 7 years ago.  We just didn’t get along very well.  Actually, we never didn’t get along either, I just think that we were in different places in life.  We had different priorities and such.  And now I feel like a big jerk. 

Let me explain.  She is just the sweetest, nicest person!  She is a great mother and wife and just an all-around likeable person!  And everytime husband and I would talk about A and H, I would say things like, “I don’t know…H wasn’t a very nice person…”  And who’s the “not very nice person” now?  But that was me talking about the H and the Me from 7 years ago.  We were both VERY different people.  And closer to the same place in life.  Seriously folks, 7 years can change your perspective immensely!

I guess where I’m going with this is husband and I have re-made some old friends.  And all thanks to MySpace (as much as I hate to admit that).   It is wonderful.  They are great and I hope they stick around.

So much to blog about…

…and absolutely NO desire to blog.  So…um…I woke up this morning feeling GREAT!  Now I’m tired as hell and could probably go to bed now and sleep until tomorrow morning.  If I’m this tired now, how tired will I be when there is a screaming baby in my house? 

I continue to have deep, strong feelings of anxiety.  I am sooo incredibly worried that something terrible is going to happen.  What?  Who knows.  Why?  Who knows.  I think this anxiety is the key to my unexcitedness (if that’s even a freakin’ word).  We went to BabiesR’Us last night and wandered around.  Everything is so damn expensive!  Seriously, who needs a $600.00 crib?  Anyhoozy, that trip got me a little excited, especially looking at all those teeny clothes. 

I bought a book last night…What To Expect When You’re Expecting.  I hear from others that it is a nice reference to have when I have questions that aren’t urgent enough to call or see a doctor…you know, the easy stuff that I should already know.

I am still very uncomfortable with the whole being pregnant thing.  Someone called me “preggo” a few days ago and I was very close to ending him.  Yes, ending.  Not hurting or something…ending.  That is how uncomfortable it is at this time.  I’ve learned that there are a select few people that I’ve talked to who have made me feel better.  And, unfortunately, a couple live atleast an hour away and the other I wrote a not-so-friendly blog entry about approx. a week ago. 

I am feeling very overwhelmed.  So much so that I think I’ve subconsciously blocked out nearly EVERYTHING positive about what is happening to me.  I don’t want to be so excited just in case something horrible happens…so I won’t be disappointed.  I am a “just in case” kind of person.  I feel that I’m (atleast physically) prepared for almost anything…except for maybe the apocalypse.  I’m going to have to work on the mental preparedness.  I am extremely lacking in that area.

So, how do you mentally prepare yourself for a life-changing event?  I guess that is really rhetorical.  I’ll figure it all out, I’m sure.  Eventually.

Peanut butter egg dirt…now I’m just babbling.

I Can Has Cheezburger?

Okay, so if you haven’t been to I Can Has Cheezburger?, you should go NOW.  Do not pass go and do not collect $200.00!!  It is freakin’ hilarious.  I mean, I’m not even that big of a fan of cats, but these cats crack me up!!  Be careful, though.  Once you start saying the captions out loud, you begin to talk like the captions…which isn’t so attractive. They seem to be having some technical difficulties, but you can still view the site.  You just have to keep scrolling down to the bottom of the page.  Here’s a sample or two…

I am now officially and sufficiently…

…knocked up.  It’s just crazy.  I should be ECSTATIC!  I am happy.  I just don’t feel like everyone tells me I should feel.  I’m actually quite uncomfortable with the WHOLE THING up to this point (you know, a whole 6 days).  It’s weird.  I’ve been nothing but uncomfortable, tired and anxious.  Not good anxious, raging lunatic anxious.  I am screaming, to the point that my voice begins to go, at drivers who take too long to go through the turn light.  I’m yelling at my dogs for following me around.  I’m falling asleep at 8 pm every night.  And I feel like the whole calling everyone and telling them, except my close family and friends, is just a freakin’ hassle.  I think something is wrong with me…my brain, I mean.  Who devises a 2-year-long plan to have a baby and then becomes apathetic about the entire world?  I just don’t get it.  Let’s call it hormones for now.  I guess I’ll look deeper into this a little later…

Oh Karma, Where Art Thou?

I generally do not wish bad things upon others.  I have in the very distant past, but I make it a practice to not do that anymore.  We’ll call said person “Jack” (for Jack Ass, of course).  I believe Jack to be his own worst enemy and he doesn’t need any help from me when it comes to sabbotaging his career, relationships, well…his life, really.  I believe that Karma will take care of him…eventually.  I am not a patient person, so I just wish Karma would get on the ball, here. 

I continually watch Jack prosper.  And let me remind you, this is an individual who has -73 redeeming qualities.  Is it really possible for someone to be immune to bad Karma?  Is he always under a bridge when lightning tries to strike him?  He isn’t very wiley, so it just has to be coincidence.  He isn’t smart enough to escape fate. 

So…now I actually feel sorry for Jack.  Why, you ask?  Well, because the way I see it, Karma is just waiting, like a stalking vulture (thanks, Maynard), to strike.  When Karma gets Jack, it’s going to be a DOOZIE.  And that, my friends, is unfortunate for Mr. Ass.

There was an episode of My Name Is Earl, called Oh Karma Where Art Thou? (Season 1, Episode 12) (hence the entry title), that is exactly my situation.  Do I have to PUNCH JACK IN THE FACE, putting him in the hospital because I BROKE EVERY BONE IN HIS UGLY FACE so that his wife and his OTHER wife (or is it mistress?) end up finding out about one another, hence taking him for everything he has?  If I have to do this, SIGN ME UP!!  I will GLADLY work under the hand of dear, sweet Karma.  Then again, I’ve always been kind of a kiss-ass.

So, here’s to you Mr. Ass.  May Karma strike and strike with force.  I hope you’re ready.

Blast from the Past

I’ve been fighting MySpace from the get-go.  I was as anti-MySpace as I was anti-Starbucks and anti-Ebay.  And now I have a page.  What was I thinking??  I’ve gotten numerous friend requests from people I don’t know, never knew and would never care to know.  I got one today from a person who hosts “purse parties” in my town. 

Anyhookly, the good news is that I’ve connected with some wonderful people from my past…even one from nearly 10 years ago!!!  That is some crazy shit.  I knew she got married and still lived close to where we grew up (my brother still sees her on occasion), but I didn’t think she’d ever care to talk to me again.  It’s great finding these people.  And it’s even greater to know that they are doing well.

I have concluded that finding people from your past can be quite bittersweet.  I’ve begun to wonder why I didn’t keep in touch with these people and why I chose now to try and find them.  The hardest part is trying to determine how they will react.  So far, all have been very accepting and happy to hear from me (the key words there being SO FAR).  It’s difficult for me to realize that I will probably not meet up with all these people and pick up where we left off 3, 4, 10 years ago.  It will take some effort.  And patience.  Two things that I’m not so much a fan of.  But I’m going to try. 

The person from 10 years ago contacted me.  I found her but was too scared to contact her.  I thought, “It’s been nearly 10 years.  What would I say?”  So, Holly, if you ever read this, Thank You.  For taking the first step.  Hopefully we can take a few more steps.

Secret Message

my diabolical plan just may work….

and no one even knows what it is yet!  I’m sooo funny!!