The Soundtrack of My Life VI

Today’s song is sort of depressing.  I do love this song, though.  It has a very deep meaning to me, as it does to most who know and love it.  I’ve been in this situation more than once and it’s difficult to deal with…and that’s an understatement. 

3 Libras by A Perfect Circle

threw you the obvious and you flew
with it on your back, a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.
difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when i’ve looked right through
to see you naked and oblivious
and you don’t see me.
but i threw you the obvious
just to see if there’s more behind the eyes
of a fallen angel,
the eyes of a tragedy.
here i am expecting just a little bit
too much from the wounded.
but i see through it all
and see you.
so i threw you the obvious
to see what occurs behind the eyes of a fallen angel,
eyes of a tragedy.
oh well. apparently nothing.
you don’t see me.
you don’t see me at all.

It’s tough when you think you mean something to someone and it turns out that you’re just a “name in (his) recollection thrown down among a million same.”  Especially when that person is, by all moral and societal standards, “supposed to” care.  BUT…maybe “i am just expecting just a little bit too much from the wounded.”  It never occurred to me that this person was a person and not just filling a role for my needs.  Hmm…interesting.  The focus changes a couple of times in the song which makes me wonder who is to blame.  I see this person “naked and oblivious” but he “doesn’t see me.”  How can I expect something out of someone who has no ability to deliver it?

The Soundtrack of My Life V

Yes, I’m a slacker.  I’m 3 weeks behind.  I’ll try and do 2 songs a week for a couple weeks.  Then I’ll be back on track. 

Since I’m a slacker, I’m choosing a song that is, in some way, about slacking.  Here goes…

Loser by Beck

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and I’m out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin’ with a loser and the cruise control
Baby’s in reno with the vitamin d
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat
Someone came in sayin’ I’m insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don’t believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin’ all your food stamps and burnin’ down the trailer park

Yo. cut it.

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?

(double barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?

Forces of evil on a bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
’cuz one’s got a weasel and the other’s got a flag
One’s on the pole, shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose-job
The daytime crap of the folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey-neck and it’s hangin’ from a pigeon wing
You can’t write if you can’t relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin’ on a termite
who’s chokin’ on the splinters

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheese whiz)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(drive-by body-pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
Soooooooyy….

?em llik uoy t’nod yhw os ,ybab resol a m’I rodedrep nu yoS
[You can hear hear it if you reverse it.]

(I’m a driver, I’m a winner; things are gonna change I can feel it)

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(I can’t believe you)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Nlehh…)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(Sprechen Sie Deutsch hier, Baby!)
Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?
(know what I’m sayin’? )

Wow!  That’s a lot of words!!  I love this song.  I’ve always loved Beck.  He is extremely creative and his music is all over the place.  This was the first Beck song that struck me.  I also love, love, love his new music.  Very different from this Loser days!

What do all these words mean?  Who knows!!  The phrase “soy un perdedor” actually means “I’m a loser.”  In an interview, Beck said he was attempting to rap like Chuck D of Public Enemy…and failed horribly.  Hence, the chorus.  Some of the most nonsensical things just make so much sense…So shave your face with some mace in the dark/Savin’ all your food stamps and burnin’ down the trailer park.  What do you all think??

Tagged…

I was tagged by Susi…so here goes…

1. Last music you listened to? I’m at work, so John Mellencamp on the radio

2. Last thing you watched on TV? Two and a Half Men

3. Last movie seen? In a theater-Pirates of the Carribean III/At home-Walk the Line on TV

4. Last book you read? The Pregnancy Bible

5. Last person you spoke to? Chris

6. Last thing you ate? Frosted Miniwheats with skim milk…YUMMY!

7. Last time you laughed? About 30 seconds ago

8. Last place you visited? Um…I visited the bathroom a few minutes ago.  You know, I’m pregnant, so I pee a million times a day.

9. Last website you visited? www.3dpregnancy.com

10. Last thing you scrapped/crafted? I finished a dogbone picture frame and 6 greeting cards last night.

TMJ, Sciatica and Ear Pain

I think I am going to fall apart…but I recently learned that all of my problems may be related.  Huh.  Who knew?  And this post is going to be one long complaint.

About 2 years ago, I began getting severe pains in my left jaw.  Dentist appointments determined that I did not have any cavities.  It was decided by 3 dental students and 2 actual dentists that I had TMJ.  I need a mouthpiece the sleep at night.  Do I actually wear one?  No.  Do I even own one?  No.  Bad, bad, bad.  At the time that I was diagnosed, I didn’t have dental insurance…hence why I was seeing a friend in dental school instead of an actual dentist.  I simply didn’t have the money to have molds made of my mouth so that I could be fitted for a bite guard.  Why don’t I have one now?  Simple:  I’m lazy.

My jaw pops a million times a day…and LOUD.  Sometimes it hurts and other times I welcome the popping as it relieves the pressure.  I tried chewing gum for awhile to exercise the muscles, but that makes it worse.  If I eat extremely chewy food, it hurts for days after.  If I sleep wrong, it hurts.  It just hurts.

Since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve been having some sciatica.  Last week it was so bad that I had to sit upright on the couch for approximately 14 hours before the pain subsided.  If I step on the side of either foot instead of directly level with the floor, pains go shooting up my legs to my lower back.  I wake up at night and spend 10 minutes just rolling over because the pain (which is directly above my butt) is so bad.  No sleeping position helps.  No exercise helps.  No medicine that I can take helps.  I just deal with it.

About a year ago, I began waking up about once a week with horrible, horrible pain in the ear that I was sleeping on.  Not inside my ear, my actual external ear.  It is so bad that it brings tears to my eyes.  And just moving makes the pain worse.  Now this is happening about 4-5 times a week.  I’ve changed pillows, changed sleep positions, etc.  Nothing helps.  I sort of thought all along that this pain was related to my TMJ, but that’s never been confirmed…until today.  WebMD tells me that all three of these things are related.  Sciatica/coccyx pain can cause external ear pain.  TMJ can cause external ear pain.  Again, who knew?

So, right after this baby is born, I need to get my TMJ under control!!  The sciatica will most likely go away after having the baby, but the TMJ is something I need to deal with instead of ignore.  I hate having stuff wrong with me. 

34 Truths

I got this from Sigmund, Carl and Alfred, a blog that I sometimes read (it’s in my sidebar).  I have minorly altered it because, as far as I can tell, it originated in England and was a bit confusing with the different words for things (like garden for yard and crisp for chip).  There are a few that made me wonder what the hell goes on in England (like #15, 22, and 28).  But for the most part, I find these to be true (especially #3, 26 and 27).

34 Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a bar is when your beer-to-bathroom cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.

4) You’re never quite sure whether it’s ok to eat the green potato chips.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your backyard.

9) Nobody ever dares make Cup-O’-Soup in a bowl.

10) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

11) It’s impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

12) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

13) Rummaging in an overgrown yard will always turn up a bouncy ball.

14) You always feel a bit scared when petting horses.

15) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

16) The most embarrassing thing you can do as a kid in school is to call your teacher mom or dad.

17) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

1 Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

19) Every male has at some stage while taking a pee flushed halfway through and then raced against the flush.

20) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

21) It’s impossible to look cool while picking up a Frisbee.

22) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

23) You never ever run out of salt.

24) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

25) You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.

26) There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.

27) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

2 Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

29) The most painful household incident is stepping on an upturned plug while barefoot.

30) People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard.

31) You’ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

32) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

33) Bricks are horrible to carry.

34) In every bag of potato chips there is a bad chip.

A Better Day

…because of this:

 
see more crazy cat pics

This made me laugh until I almost cried.  Knowing that Anakin was such a cute kid makes you hate Darth Vadar even more…because he is a huge “doosh.”

The Soundtrack of My Live IV

So, today it’s a song that reminds me of a simpler time…and not necessarily “simpler” in a good way.  My version of “simpler” was my early years of college.  You know, I did pretty much whatever I wanted and hardly ever thought of the consequences.  I thought I was invincible.  I didn’t have to have a fulltime job.  I didn’t even really have to go to class.  I didn’t have bills and house payments and responsibities…but my head was a wreck.  I didn’t really know who I was or what I wanted out of college…or out of life, really.  I was very confused about everything and it truly was the most difficult time of my life.  So, “simpler” on a certain plane and much more difficult on another.  This song was popular before then, but was played over and over and over again during my first 2 years of college.  And I never tired of it.  I still love it.  I love the music, the lyrics, the message.

In The Meantime by Spacehog

And in the end we shall achieve in time
The thing they call divine
When all the stars will smile for me
When all is well and well is all for all
And forever after
Maybe in the meantime wait and see

Chorus
We love the all the all of you
Our lands are green and skies are blue
When all in all we’re just like you
We love the all of you

And when I cry for me I cry for you
With tears of holy joy
And did I ever say I’d never play
Or fly toward the sun
Maybe in the meantime, something’s gone

Chorus

Well that sounds fine so I’ll see you sunshine
Give my love to the future of the humankind
Okay, okay, it’s not okay.
While it’s on my mind there’s a girl that fits the crime
For a future love dream that I’m still to find
But in the meantime.

Chorus

I get alot from this song.  And it does really relate to college life…on some level or another.  Things will change (according to my version, the change is death), but enjoy life “in the meantime.”  Live for today because it won’t be here for long.  The future is inevitable no matter what it holds.  What do you all think??

The Soundtrack of My Life III

In college, I LOVED Dave Matthews Band…for awhile.  Then I HATED them for awhile.  I am back to loving their older music and thinking that they’re finally done creating great music.  I mean, their last…maybe two albums haven’t been all that good.  What happened to songs like “Crush” and “Rapunzel” and even “Crash?”  Those were great songs and it seems that the newer stuff is a little lacking…or maybe I’m getting old.  Shhh.  Don’t tell anyone.  One of my favorite Dave songs is below:

So Much To Say by Dave Matthews Band

I say my hell is the closet I’m stuck inside
Can’t see the light
And my Heaven is a nice house in the sky
Got central heating and I’m alright
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Can’t see the light
Keep it locked up inside
Don’t talk about it
T-t-talk about the weatherYeah, yeah, yeah
Can’t see the light
Open up my head and let me out, little baby
‘Cause here we have been standing for a long, long time
Treading trodden trails for a long, long time

I say my hell is the closet I’m stuck inside
Can’t see the light
And my Heaven is a nice house in the sky
Got central heating and I’m alright
‘Cause here we have been standing for a long, long time
Treading trodden trails for a long, long time
Time, time, time, time, time, time

I find sometimes it’s easy to be myself
Sometimes I find it’s better to be somebody else

I see you young and soft, oh little baby
Little feet, little hands, little feet, little feet, little baby
One year of cryin’ and the words creep up inside
Creep into your mind, yeah

So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say
So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say

‘Cause here we have been standing for a long, long time
Treading trodden trails for a long, long time
Time, time, time, time, time, time

I find sometimes it’s easy to be myself
Sometimes I find it’s better to be somebody else

So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say
So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say
So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say
So much to say, so much to say, so much to say, so much to say

Open up my head and let me out, little baby

Now, I’m sure there are a MILLION different interpretations and meanings of this song.  I feel like it’s great for describing human nature in general.  We all have so much to say, but instead of choosing subjects that have substance, we talk about the weather.  Why do we do this?  There are so many interesting things to talk about and we continue to say the same meaningless things over and over again (treading trodden trails).  I’m sure all of you will find (or have found) a different meaning.  I do have to point out the paradox that the song creates…the song is titled, “So Much To Say” and there are very few lyrics in the song that aren’t repeated again and again.  What a wonderful song.  Open up my head and let me out, little baby!

This made my day better…

Not all of you will get this, but it’s sooo very worth it for the select few who will.  It takes a *special* kind of person to appreciate Monty Python…

see more crazy cat pics

The Soundtrack of My Life II

So, this was originally going to be an entry called “Observations from the Outside.”  Why, you ask?  Because there are some strange goings-on that I am not directly a part of…and, while I try and keep my big shnoz to myself (unless I’m asked otherwise), I just can’t help but think that if the people involved in said goings-on would just sit down and rationally think things through that the world would not be such a shitty place…for them, not the rest of us. (How’s that for a run-on sentence??)

Anyhoodle, I’ve recalled 2 songs that (sort of) recently helped me through some rather difficult goings-on and thought that my audience would read it and make 2+2=4.  Hopefully you are all good at math.  (And if you even THINK that I’m talking about you, then actually READ the whole post.)

As I recalled one of these songs, I wondered how many times the Foo Fighters would end up on the soundtrack list.  I like every song they’ve ever made and they all have meaning to me.  Damn that awesome god-like Dave Grohl!

Best of You by the Foo Fighters

I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?

I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh…

Oh…Oh…Oh…Oh…

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I’ve got another confession my friend
I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh…

And why does this song mean so much to me?  It’s about learning that there IS a way to break away from someone/something that has a negative hold on you.  I have a difficult time with that.  And, although the breaking away may be painful and difficult, it’s so rewarding and healthy.

Song 2 has almost the same message…

Better Than by John Butler Trio

All you want is
What you can’t have
And if you just look around man
You see you got magic
So just sit back relax
Enjoy it while you still have it
Don’t look back on life man and only see tragicBecause you could be better than that
Don’t let it get the better of you
What could be better than that
Life’s not about what’s better than
You can be better than that
Don’t let it get the better of you
What could be better than that
Life’s not about what’s better

All the time while you’re looking away
There are things you can do man
There’s things you can say
To the the ones you’re with
With whom you’re spending your day
Get your gaze off tomorrow
And let come what may

Because you could be better than that
Don’t let it get the better of you
What could be better than that
Life’s not about what’s better than
You can be better than that
Don’t let it get the better of you
What could be better than that
Life’s not about what’s better

All I know is sometimes things can be hard
But you should know by now
They come and they go
So why, oh why
Do I look to the other side
‘Cause I know the grass is greener but
Just as hard to mow

Life’s not about what’s better than.

All you want is
What you can’t have
And if you just look around man
You see you got magic
So just sit back relax
Enjoy it while you still have it
Don’t look back on life man and only see tragic

Because you could be better than that
Don’t let it get the better of you
What could be better than that
Life’s not about what’s better than
You can be better than that
Don’t let it get the better of you
What could be better than that
Life’s not about what’s better
A little different, but a little the same.  “The grass is greener, but JUST AS HARD TO MOW.”  What a wonderful song lyric!!  I don’t have to be better than others.  I don’t need things that are better than what others have.  All I can do is live my life to make me the best ME that I can BE and realize that my life is WONERFUL!!  You only live one time…and YOU make that life what it is.  If you were He-Man, I’d say “You have the power!!”  (with some sort of reverb/echo effect).  Make the most of it while you’re here.